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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Except
Prove
Technology
Science
Everything
Usefulness
Statistics

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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
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Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
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