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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Art
Must
Mean
Garage
Walking
Means
Lost

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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g others, because they understand each other too well.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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