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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Must
Mean
Garage
Walking
Means
Lost
Art

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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.
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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.
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