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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Firsts
First
Diamond
Long
Cares
Never
Stone
Casts
Stones
Girl
Care

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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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