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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Never
Stone
Casts
Stones
Girl
Care
Firsts
First
Diamond
Long
Cares

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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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All work and no pay makes a housewife.
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