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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Dressed
Fully
Smile
Wear

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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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