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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Opinion
Egotist
Change
Specialist
Persons
Specialists
Best
Egotism
Person
Opinions
Men
Except
Whose
Friend

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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity a black eye, too much.
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