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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Keys
Lies
Successful
Secret
Lying
Right
Typewriter
Writing
Typewriters
Striking

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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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