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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Horror
Jill
Boys
Widow
Funny
Widows
Makes
Sarcasm
Play
Jack
Work
Wealthy
Dull
Shining

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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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