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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Beings
Habit
Mankind
Study
Place
Carpe
Human
Zoos
Humans
Habits
Excellent

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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.
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An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity a black eye, too much.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.
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