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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Time
Young
Give
Still
Best
Hilarious
Enough
Advice
Giving
Talking
Children
Funny
Believe
Stills

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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
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