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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Science
Unreliable
Facts
Reliable
Producing
Statistics
Definition
Definitions
Figures
Business

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A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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