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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Definition
Definitions
Figures
Business
Science
Unreliable
Facts
Reliable
Producing
Statistics

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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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