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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Facts
Reliable
Producing
Statistics
Definition
Definitions
Figures
Business
Science
Unreliable

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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.
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The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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