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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Facts
Reliable
Producing
Statistics
Definition
Definitions
Figures
Business
Science
Unreliable

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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
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A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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