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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Producing
Statistics
Definition
Definitions
Figures
Business
Science
Unreliable
Facts
Reliable

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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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