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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Facts
Reliable
Producing
Statistics
Definition
Definitions
Figures
Business
Science
Unreliable

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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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