Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.
Eugene Mirman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Eugene Mirman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: July 24
Actor
Comedian
Director
Dub Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Voice Actor
Moscow
Russian SFSR
Emphasize
Toss
Truly
Word
Away
More quotes by Eugene Mirman
For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And then eventually, I was like, Oh no. It's absolutely my job to convey to people why what I think is funny, is funny. The whole point of standup is to get the audience to understand your weird point of view.
Eugene Mirman
On a scale of one to ten, how punk am I? Apple. I don't use your scale.
Eugene Mirman
Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.
Eugene Mirman
I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.
Eugene Mirman
If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.
Eugene Mirman
I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes.
Eugene Mirman
Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.
Eugene Mirman
I like the idea of being sort of withdrawn and mysterious, and what can be more mysterious that someone wearing a trash bag, like a dark trash bag, with eye holes that say nihilism? You'd be curious. What's underneath that? Is it perfect? Or is it broken?
Eugene Mirman
School, in general, was not great. Children are just mean to each other... but by high school, I probably stopped being annoying to people, and people stopped being mean. By the end of it, it was wonderful.
Eugene Mirman
It's weird - the cab driver is playing very loud dance music and yet it doesn't really feel like a party.
Eugene Mirman
I saw this huge billboard that said: 'Abortion Hurts' and then it had a drawing of a butterfly. Who is that for? Is there a lady who's going to see that and be like, 'Oh, I was going to get an abortion but now that I realize it hurts I guess I'll just give birth to a child! 'Cause I know that's painless and raising it should be a snap!'
Eugene Mirman
People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
Eugene Mirman
You know how sometimes when you're drunk you say something you sort of regret... to Ace Frehley?
Eugene Mirman
The good thing about being stuck at the airport for an extra hour, is that it gives you a chance to give weary travelers surprise massages.
Eugene Mirman
What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.
Eugene Mirman
Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just yell, 'Don't abuse me like your parents abuse you!' Then call children's services and tell them you saw this bully crying in the bathroom and you're worried about him. Bam! He just got moved to a foster home.
Eugene Mirman
Don't throw a baby at anything - even a burglar.
Eugene Mirman
Some tips for life: 1.Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2.Be kind to people. 3.Don't get too excited when you read the Fountainhead 4.In times of recession, it is time for invention. 5.Things can kill you, so keep that in mind, you fearless know it alls.
Eugene Mirman
Try not to wake up on fire.
Eugene Mirman
Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.
Eugene Mirman
