Quote

School, in general, was not great. Children are just mean to each other... but by high school, I probably stopped being annoying to people, and people stopped being mean. By the end of it, it was wonderful.

Eugene Mirman

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Eugene Mirman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: July 24
Actor
Comedian
Director
Dub Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Voice Actor
Moscow
Russian SFSR
Ends
School
Children
Annoying
Mean
Stopped
Great
General
People
Probably
Wonderful
High

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Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?
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For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And then eventually, I was like, Oh no. It's absolutely my job to convey to people why what I think is funny, is funny. The whole point of standup is to get the audience to understand your weird point of view.
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You know how sometimes when you're drunk you say something you sort of regret... to Ace Frehley?
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I believe in diversification of income, because you never know what will happen. I'm a slightly paranoid person who thinks things could be ruined at any time.
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One of the best things I found out about Detroit is that bears have started returning to the city. When bears are gentrifying your neighborhood and opening Thai restaurants, that's a poor neighborhood.
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People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
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The only thing wrong with me was that I was a weirdo that hated school. I'm sure now there'd be a disorder for it, but I was just an oddball.
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I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.
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I spent the day today at Brighton Beach, walking around. It's a Russian/Jewish neighborhood. And I was in a store and I saw a board game called 'Let My People Go,' based on the Jews' exodus from Egypt. I was like, 'Too soon.
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What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.
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I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.
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I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes.
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If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.
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Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.
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Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?
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God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.
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