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People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
Eugene Mirman
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Eugene Mirman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: July 24
Actor
Comedian
Director
Dub Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Voice Actor
Moscow
Russian SFSR
Men
Easy
Alternative
Like
Sense
Alternatives
People
Someone
Yeah
Used
Fun
Sometimes
Comedy
Really
Crazy
Make
Funny
Flute
Would
Making
Flutes
More quotes by Eugene Mirman
Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.
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On a scale of one to ten, how punk am I? Apple. I don't use your scale.
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Everyone knows that Jews control the media and banks and stuff. But did you know that when you go to a carnival and you have to be a certain height to go on a ride, Jews control that height? It has nothing to do with safety. It's just us flexing our Semitic muscles.
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I saw this huge billboard that said: 'Abortion Hurts' and then it had a drawing of a butterfly. Who is that for? Is there a lady who's going to see that and be like, 'Oh, I was going to get an abortion but now that I realize it hurts I guess I'll just give birth to a child! 'Cause I know that's painless and raising it should be a snap!'
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I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.
Eugene Mirman
I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.
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Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?
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Don't throw a baby at anything - even a burglar.
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There's nothing sexier than a girl who's like, 'I know who FDR is, I know about the New Deal, I'm going to give you a new deal.' And then, over a period of years, she structures her sex acts in such a way that they save the economy.
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Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right.
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Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.
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Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.
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I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.
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The truth is, for however much my stories come out of things that have happened to me, they're not darkly or as deeply personal as someone like Marc Maron or a lot of comedians, but they are essentially my life and my interpretation of it.
Eugene Mirman
Try not to wake up on fire.
Eugene Mirman
I like the idea of being sort of withdrawn and mysterious, and what can be more mysterious that someone wearing a trash bag, like a dark trash bag, with eye holes that say nihilism? You'd be curious. What's underneath that? Is it perfect? Or is it broken?
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The good thing about being stuck at the airport for an extra hour, is that it gives you a chance to give weary travelers surprise massages.
Eugene Mirman
To create a comedy major, I ended up starting a comedy night in the basement of my dorm, and I promoted and produced my final project, which meant I faxed press releases from an old Apple IIC, or whatever it was, to newspapers, not knowing if that would work or if that's how you do things.
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I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes.
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School, in general, was not great. Children are just mean to each other... but by high school, I probably stopped being annoying to people, and people stopped being mean. By the end of it, it was wonderful.
Eugene Mirman