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People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
Eugene Mirman
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Eugene Mirman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: July 24
Actor
Comedian
Director
Dub Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Voice Actor
Moscow
Russian SFSR
Used
Fun
Sometimes
Comedy
Really
Crazy
Make
Funny
Flute
Would
Making
Flutes
Men
Easy
Alternative
Like
Sense
Alternatives
People
Someone
Yeah
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Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.
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I saw this huge billboard that said: 'Abortion Hurts' and then it had a drawing of a butterfly. Who is that for? Is there a lady who's going to see that and be like, 'Oh, I was going to get an abortion but now that I realize it hurts I guess I'll just give birth to a child! 'Cause I know that's painless and raising it should be a snap!'
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The good thing about being stuck at the airport for an extra hour, is that it gives you a chance to give weary travelers surprise massages.
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Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.
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What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.
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I spent the day today at Brighton Beach, walking around. It's a Russian/Jewish neighborhood. And I was in a store and I saw a board game called 'Let My People Go,' based on the Jews' exodus from Egypt. I was like, 'Too soon.
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Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?
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I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.
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I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.
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If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is - he's the reason you all live underground.
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I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes.
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Try not to wake up on fire.
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School, in general, was not great. Children are just mean to each other... but by high school, I probably stopped being annoying to people, and people stopped being mean. By the end of it, it was wonderful.
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Everyone knows that Jews control the media and banks and stuff. But did you know that when you go to a carnival and you have to be a certain height to go on a ride, Jews control that height? It has nothing to do with safety. It's just us flexing our Semitic muscles.
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Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?
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The only thing wrong with me was that I was a weirdo that hated school. I'm sure now there'd be a disorder for it, but I was just an oddball.
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One of the best things I found out about Detroit is that bears have started returning to the city. When bears are gentrifying your neighborhood and opening Thai restaurants, that's a poor neighborhood.
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