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I believe in diversification of income, because you never know what will happen. I'm a slightly paranoid person who thinks things could be ruined at any time.

Eugene Mirman

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Eugene Mirman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: July 24
Actor
Comedian
Director
Dub Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Voice Actor
Moscow
Russian SFSR
Diversification
Persons
Paranoid
Person
Believe
Ruined
Things
Slightly
Never
Income
Time
Thinks
Thinking
Happen
Happens

More quotes by Eugene Mirman

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Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.
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Some tips for life: 1.Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2.Be kind to people. 3.Don't get too excited when you read the Fountainhead 4.In times of recession, it is time for invention. 5.Things can kill you, so keep that in mind, you fearless know it alls.
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A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.
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I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.
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It's weird - the cab driver is playing very loud dance music and yet it doesn't really feel like a party.
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People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
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If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is - he's the reason you all live underground.
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One of the best things I found out about Detroit is that bears have started returning to the city. When bears are gentrifying your neighborhood and opening Thai restaurants, that's a poor neighborhood.
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I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes.
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There's nothing sexier than a girl who's like, 'I know who FDR is, I know about the New Deal, I'm going to give you a new deal.' And then, over a period of years, she structures her sex acts in such a way that they save the economy.
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What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.
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On a scale of one to ten, how punk am I? Apple. I don't use your scale.
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Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?
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If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.
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The truth is, for however much my stories come out of things that have happened to me, they're not darkly or as deeply personal as someone like Marc Maron or a lot of comedians, but they are essentially my life and my interpretation of it.
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Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?
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Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.
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You wanna know what a gateway drug is? It opens a gate.
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I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.
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