Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.
Eugene Mirman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Eugene Mirman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: July 24
Actor
Comedian
Director
Dub Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Voice Actor
Moscow
Russian SFSR
Band
Actually
Play
Toured
Never
Comedians
Would
Comedian
Like
Guitar
Rock
Rocks
More quotes by Eugene Mirman
In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.
Eugene Mirman
School, in general, was not great. Children are just mean to each other... but by high school, I probably stopped being annoying to people, and people stopped being mean. By the end of it, it was wonderful.
Eugene Mirman
Oh, Hello. I'm Eugene Mirman, and I'm here to introduce my special. It's called An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory.
Eugene Mirman
I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.
Eugene Mirman
You just can't make up random information and say it sarcastically and have it make sense. You can't just be like, 'I went out on a date with a Jewish girl. She was more rude than a wolfcat - an animal I've made up and decided is rude.
Eugene Mirman
Try not to wake up on fire.
Eugene Mirman
On a scale of one to ten, how punk am I? Apple. I don't use your scale.
Eugene Mirman
Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?
Eugene Mirman
You wanna know what a gateway drug is? It opens a gate.
Eugene Mirman
Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.
Eugene Mirman
I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.
Eugene Mirman
To create a comedy major, I ended up starting a comedy night in the basement of my dorm, and I promoted and produced my final project, which meant I faxed press releases from an old Apple IIC, or whatever it was, to newspapers, not knowing if that would work or if that's how you do things.
Eugene Mirman
One of the best things I found out about Detroit is that bears have started returning to the city. When bears are gentrifying your neighborhood and opening Thai restaurants, that's a poor neighborhood.
Eugene Mirman
I think in Russia, there's a lot of storytelling and anecdotes.
Eugene Mirman
I saw this huge billboard that said: 'Abortion Hurts' and then it had a drawing of a butterfly. Who is that for? Is there a lady who's going to see that and be like, 'Oh, I was going to get an abortion but now that I realize it hurts I guess I'll just give birth to a child! 'Cause I know that's painless and raising it should be a snap!'
Eugene Mirman
I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.
Eugene Mirman
God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.
Eugene Mirman
People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
Eugene Mirman
Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.
Eugene Mirman
If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is - he's the reason you all live underground.
Eugene Mirman
