Quote

The only thing wrong with me was that I was a weirdo that hated school. I'm sure now there'd be a disorder for it, but I was just an oddball.

Eugene Mirman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Eugene Mirman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: July 24
Actor
Comedian
Director
Dub Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Voice Actor
Moscow
Russian SFSR
School
Thing
Oddball
Oddballs
Weirdo
Disorder
Hated
Sure
Wrong

More quotes by Eugene Mirman

Image
I like the idea of being sort of withdrawn and mysterious, and what can be more mysterious that someone wearing a trash bag, like a dark trash bag, with eye holes that say nihilism? You'd be curious. What's underneath that? Is it perfect? Or is it broken?
Eugene Mirman
Image
On a scale of one to ten, how punk am I? Apple. I don't use your scale.
Eugene Mirman
Image
You just can't make up random information and say it sarcastically and have it make sense. You can't just be like, 'I went out on a date with a Jewish girl. She was more rude than a wolfcat - an animal I've made up and decided is rude.
Eugene Mirman
Image
If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is - he's the reason you all live underground.
Eugene Mirman
Image
I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.
Eugene Mirman
Image
To create a comedy major, I ended up starting a comedy night in the basement of my dorm, and I promoted and produced my final project, which meant I faxed press releases from an old Apple IIC, or whatever it was, to newspapers, not knowing if that would work or if that's how you do things.
Eugene Mirman
Image
I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.
Eugene Mirman
Image
For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And then eventually, I was like, Oh no. It's absolutely my job to convey to people why what I think is funny, is funny. The whole point of standup is to get the audience to understand your weird point of view.
Eugene Mirman
Image
Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?
Eugene Mirman
Image
Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?
Eugene Mirman
Image
Everyone knows that Jews control the media and banks and stuff. But did you know that when you go to a carnival and you have to be a certain height to go on a ride, Jews control that height? It has nothing to do with safety. It's just us flexing our Semitic muscles.
Eugene Mirman
Image
What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.
Eugene Mirman
Image
Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.
Eugene Mirman
Image
What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.
Eugene Mirman
Image
Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.
Eugene Mirman
Image
I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.
Eugene Mirman
Image
It's weird - the cab driver is playing very loud dance music and yet it doesn't really feel like a party.
Eugene Mirman
Image
You wanna know what a gateway drug is? It opens a gate.
Eugene Mirman
Image
People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
Eugene Mirman
Image
I spent the day today at Brighton Beach, walking around. It's a Russian/Jewish neighborhood. And I was in a store and I saw a board game called 'Let My People Go,' based on the Jews' exodus from Egypt. I was like, 'Too soon.
Eugene Mirman