Quote

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

Eugene Mirman

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Eugene Mirman
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: July 24
Actor
Comedian
Director
Dub Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Voice Actor
Moscow
Russian SFSR
Cry
Truly
Imagine
Also
Think
Thinking
Relaxing
People
Underwear
Crying

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Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.
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I believe in diversification of income, because you never know what will happen. I'm a slightly paranoid person who thinks things could be ruined at any time.
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People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.
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I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.
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I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.
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You just can't make up random information and say it sarcastically and have it make sense. You can't just be like, 'I went out on a date with a Jewish girl. She was more rude than a wolfcat - an animal I've made up and decided is rude.
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A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.
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What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.
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To create a comedy major, I ended up starting a comedy night in the basement of my dorm, and I promoted and produced my final project, which meant I faxed press releases from an old Apple IIC, or whatever it was, to newspapers, not knowing if that would work or if that's how you do things.
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You know how sometimes when you're drunk you say something you sort of regret... to Ace Frehley?
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God is a twelve year old boy with Asperger's.
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If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.
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The only thing wrong with me was that I was a weirdo that hated school. I'm sure now there'd be a disorder for it, but I was just an oddball.
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