Quote

If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you will end up looking for another person in order to reconnect with those lost parts.

Esther Perel

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Esther Perel
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 1
Author
Psychotherapist
Antwerpen
Many
Start
Feel
Lost
Feels
Given
Another
Reconnect
Order
Partner
Ends
Partners
Persons
Parts
Person
Looking

More quotes by Esther Perel

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Today, monogamy is one person at a time.
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To look at infidelity from the point of view of sex is a complete narrowing of the phenomenon. There's a reason that the commandment is repeated twice in the Bible - once for doing it and once for thinking about it. We have always created structures and broken structures. It is essential to the human spirit.
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There is no neediness in desire ... there is no caretaking in desire. Caretaking is mightily loving, [but] it's a powerful anti-aphrodisiac.
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You know what happens to sex in marriage? Instead of inviting desire, you monitor it. Especially men: You let her sleep late, you take the kids to the park, and all that time you're thinking, Tonight I'll get some. That doesn't work.
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Are you asking a question because you want to know the answer or are you asking the question because you want your partner to know that you are having this question?
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Romantics value intensity over stability. Realists value security over passion. But both are often disappointed, for few people can live happily at either extreme.
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In desire, there must be some small amount of tension. And that tension comes with the unknown, the unpredictable. You can close yourself off at home and say, Whew, at last I'm in a place where I don't have to worry, or you can keep yourself open to the mystery and elusiveness of your partner.
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Love is at once an affirmation and a transcendence of who we are.
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We used to moralize today we normalize, and performance anxiety is the secular version of our old religious guilt.
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Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness.
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Trouble looms when monogamy is no longer a free expression of loyalty but a form of enforced compliance.
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It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the other person.
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Today, our sexuality is an open-ended personal project it is part of who we are, an identity, and no longer merely something we do.
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We know desire is rooted in absence and yearning. What you don't have is often ten times richer than what you actually experience. An affair is a perfect erotic plot because it fits the erotic equation of psychotherapist Jack Morin: Attraction plus obstacle equals excitement..
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You never know your partner as well as you think.
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Sex is about where you can take me, not what you can do to me.
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In my community there were two groups of people, There were the ones who did not die and the ones who came back to life.
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In committed sex, in marriage, people don't feel the need to seduce or to build anticipation - - that's an effort they think they no longer need to do now that they have conquered their partner. If they're in the mood, their partner should be too.
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Most of us will get turned on at night by the very same things that we will demonstrate against during the day - the erotic mind is not very politically correct.
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When we seek the gaze of another, it isn't always our partner we're turning away from, but the person we have ourselves become.
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