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If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you will end up looking for another person in order to reconnect with those lost parts.
Esther Perel
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Esther Perel
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 1
Author
Psychotherapist
Antwerpen
Many
Start
Feel
Lost
Feels
Given
Another
Reconnect
Order
Partner
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Partners
Persons
Parts
Person
Looking
More quotes by Esther Perel
We used to moralize today we normalize, and performance anxiety is the secular version of our old religious guilt.
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Erotic intelligence stretches far beyond a repertoire of sexual techniques. It is an intelligence that celebrates curiosity and play, the power of the imagination, and our infinite fascination with what is hidden and mysterious.
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Today, our sexuality is an open-ended personal project it is part of who we are, an identity, and no longer merely something we do.
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There is no neediness in desire ... there is no caretaking in desire. Caretaking is mightily loving, [but] it's a powerful anti-aphrodisiac.
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When we seek the gaze of another, it isn't always our partner we're turning away from, but the person we have ourselves become.
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Love is at once an affirmation and a transcendence of who we are.
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What is the relationship between love and desire? How do they relate, and how do they conflict? ... Therein lies the mystery of eroticism.
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Our partner's sexuality does not belong to us. It isn't just for and about us, and we should not assume that it rightfully falls within our jurisdiction.
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In my community there were two groups of people, There were the ones who did not die and the ones who came back to life.
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You know what happens to sex in marriage? Instead of inviting desire, you monitor it. Especially men: You let her sleep late, you take the kids to the park, and all that time you're thinking, Tonight I'll get some. That doesn't work.
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Sex is about where you can take me, not what you can do to me.
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In desire, there must be some small amount of tension. And that tension comes with the unknown, the unpredictable. You can close yourself off at home and say, Whew, at last I'm in a place where I don't have to worry, or you can keep yourself open to the mystery and elusiveness of your partner.
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Most affairs do die a natural death. Today, you look at your partner's phone to find out the weather, and you find out about a lover. It has never been as easy to cheat as it is today, and it has never been harder to keep a secret.
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Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness.
Esther Perel
It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the other person.
Esther Perel
There is no sex without a cue. People who date have their cues at home, before they meet. You think about where to go, what to eat, what to do and say. Sometimes the cue is short - - just before we reach the bar - - but sex is never just spontaneous. Spontaneity is a myth.
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I want to engage people in an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation about the nature of erotic desire and the intricacies of intimacy and sexuality. The object of my game is to bring nonjudgmental, multicultural understanding to the challenges and choices of modern relationships.
Esther Perel
Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex. For men, sex is the connection. Sex is man's language of intimacy
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Are you asking a question because you want to know the answer or are you asking the question because you want your partner to know that you are having this question?
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In dating, if you say no, your lover goes on to the next person. In marriage, if you say no, the person stays.
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