Quote

If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you will end up looking for another person in order to reconnect with those lost parts.

Esther Perel

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Esther Perel
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 1
Author
Psychotherapist
Antwerpen
Feel
Lost
Feels
Given
Another
Reconnect
Order
Partner
Ends
Partners
Persons
Parts
Person
Looking
Many
Start

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Today, our sexuality is an open-ended personal project it is part of who we are, an identity, and no longer merely something we do.
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In desire, there must be some small amount of tension. And that tension comes with the unknown, the unpredictable. You can close yourself off at home and say, Whew, at last I'm in a place where I don't have to worry, or you can keep yourself open to the mystery and elusiveness of your partner.
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Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex. For men, sex is the connection. Sex is man's language of intimacy
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In committed sex, in marriage, people don't feel the need to seduce or to build anticipation - - that's an effort they think they no longer need to do now that they have conquered their partner. If they're in the mood, their partner should be too.
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It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the other person.
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Our partner's sexuality does not belong to us. It isn't just for and about us, and we should not assume that it rightfully falls within our jurisdiction.
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Most of us will get turned on at night by the very same things that we will demonstrate against during the day - the erotic mind is not very politically correct.
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To look at infidelity from the point of view of sex is a complete narrowing of the phenomenon. There's a reason that the commandment is repeated twice in the Bible - once for doing it and once for thinking about it. We have always created structures and broken structures. It is essential to the human spirit.
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Trouble looms when monogamy is no longer a free expression of loyalty but a form of enforced compliance.
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In dating, if you say no, your lover goes on to the next person. In marriage, if you say no, the person stays.
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Love enjoys knowing everything about you desire needs mystery.
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You never know your partner as well as you think.
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Erotic intelligence stretches far beyond a repertoire of sexual techniques. It is an intelligence that celebrates curiosity and play, the power of the imagination, and our infinite fascination with what is hidden and mysterious.
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Today, monogamy is one person at a time.
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There is no sex without a cue. People who date have their cues at home, before they meet. You think about where to go, what to eat, what to do and say. Sometimes the cue is short - - just before we reach the bar - - but sex is never just spontaneous. Spontaneity is a myth.
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What is the relationship between love and desire? How do they relate, and how do they conflict? ... Therein lies the mystery of eroticism.
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A peer relationship is one where the partners experience an affectionate, companionate coupledom. They are friends. They are the product of the egalitarian model they are good life partners, but are often less sexual.
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We used to moralize today we normalize, and performance anxiety is the secular version of our old religious guilt.
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Sex is about where you can take me, not what you can do to me.
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