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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
People
Myth
Nevada
False
Beaches
White
Utah
Everyone
Sandy
Lives
Arizona
Live
Myths
Need
Beach
Needs
California
Clarification

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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
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I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.
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In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
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My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.
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the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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