Quote

With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Always
Waste
Hurricanes
Restroom
Air
Flies
Hamsters
Early
Station
Bedrooms
Boys
Bus
Decorated
Stand
Bedroom
Hovering
Path
Stations
Cleaner
Right
Escape
Hurricane
Trying
Fruit
Cleaners
Hamster

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
Erma Bombeck
Image
My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
Erma Bombeck
Image
She's as funny as a toothache
Erma Bombeck
Image
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
Image
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
Erma Bombeck
Image
The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
Erma Bombeck
Image
One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Never order food in excess of your body weight.
Erma Bombeck
Image
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
Erma Bombeck