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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Children
Supermarket
Supermarkets
Regularly
Encourage
Independence
Losing

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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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I used everything you gave me.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed? Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother? Wasn't there any change?
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My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
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My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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