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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Supermarkets
Regularly
Encourage
Independence
Losing
Children
Supermarket

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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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I used everything you gave me.
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Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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