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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Supermarkets
Regularly
Encourage
Independence
Losing
Children
Supermarket

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My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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I used everything you gave me.
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
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