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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Supermarkets
Regularly
Encourage
Independence
Losing
Children
Supermarket

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A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
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When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
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If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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Children make your life important.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.
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