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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Nest
Owns
Nests
Junk
Empty
Truly

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
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I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
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I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
Erma Bombeck
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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