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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Empty
Truly
Nest
Owns
Nests
Junk

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.
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I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.
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I used everything you gave me.
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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
Erma Bombeck
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
Erma Bombeck
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I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.
Erma Bombeck
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
Erma Bombeck