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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Owns
Nests
Junk
Empty
Truly
Nest

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.
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It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced up. After surveying $200 worth of food in varying shapes and forms, he would declare loudly, 'There's nothing to eat!'
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
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I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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