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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Medicare
Covered
Baby
Woman
Left
Remember
Going
Risky
Delivery
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
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I used everything you gave me.
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
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If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
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