Quote

Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Left
Remember
Going
Risky
Delivery
Medicare
Covered
Baby
Woman

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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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Never order food in excess of your body weight.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
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