Quote

Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Medicare
Covered
Baby
Woman
Left
Remember
Going
Risky
Delivery

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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
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There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
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No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
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A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
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I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
Erma Bombeck
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck