Quote

Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Would
Impact
Life
Dog
Moved
Early
Inflated
Upon
Cooked
Anything
Pact
Made
Teeth
Never
Excited

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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. What shall we name the other one? I smiled. She was not amused.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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Children make your life important.
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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