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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Separate
Findings
Finding
Husband
Keep
Kids
Advocated
Years
Vacations
Vacation

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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
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Children make your life important.
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I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
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I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
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On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
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The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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