Quote

There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Teach
Semi
Running
Truck
Play
Satisfying
Things
Foot
World
Tennis
Son
Unless
Feet

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have never understood, for example, how come a child can climb up on the roof, scale the TV antenna, and rescue the cat ... yet cannot walk down the hallway without grabbing both walls with his grubby hands for balance.
Erma Bombeck
Image
My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
Erma Bombeck
Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
Erma Bombeck
Image
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
Image
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
Erma Bombeck
Image
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
Erma Bombeck
Image
My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
Erma Bombeck