Quote

There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Things
Foot
World
Tennis
Son
Unless
Feet
Teach
Semi
Running
Truck
Play
Satisfying

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Do I have to use my own money?
Erma Bombeck
Image
Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Erma Bombeck
Image
the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
Erma Bombeck
Image
It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
Erma Bombeck
Image
Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.
Erma Bombeck
Image
All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
Erma Bombeck
Image
No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck