Quote

There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Son
Unless
Feet
Teach
Semi
Running
Truck
Play
Satisfying
Things
Foot
World
Tennis

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
Friends are annuals that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a perennial that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Myths that need clarification: No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears. False. It depends on how many children the out-of-towners brought with them who kicked the back of your seat from Phoenix to Flagstaff and got their gum caught in your hair.
Erma Bombeck
Image
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
Erma Bombeck
Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
Erma Bombeck
Image
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her before picture.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I used everything you gave me.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck
Image
No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who only cried at weddings. I couldn't help myself. In a dramatic gesture, I bolted the door and threw my body across it to prevent her exit. She understood.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
Erma Bombeck
Image
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
Erma Bombeck
Image
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck