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I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Facts
Twenty
Three
Twenties
Didn
Aware
Beautiful
Usually
Years
Becoming
People
Age
Fact
Fear
Increasingly

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed? Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother? Wasn't there any change?
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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Never underestimate what it takes to watch someone you love in pain.
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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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Friends are annuals that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a perennial that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.
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Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We watch people make love on television and in films. We call 900 numbers to hear what someone would do to us if they weren't sitting in a boiler room of other dirty talkers reading from a prepared script.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck