Quote

There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Children
Christmas
Time
Pity
World
Morning
Child
Sadder
Cannot
Exhaustion
Nothing
Apathy
Self
Bitterness
Take
Awake

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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
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It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.
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I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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Never order food in excess of your body weight.
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When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
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Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
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Children make your life important.
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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