Quote

I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Trying
Car
Believe
Compassion
Love
Trust
Trouble
Understanding
Bigs
Blinding
Understand
Firmly
Kids
Keys

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel a responsibility to protect and defend that human being.
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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.
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Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.
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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.
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I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her before picture.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
Erma Bombeck
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.
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One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
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When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck