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I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Went
Locker
Lockers
Visit
Boredom
Bored
Meat
Yesterday
Food

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With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation's compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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Do I have to use my own money?
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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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In the South Pacific, because of their size, mosquitoes are required to file flight plans.
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I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
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My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!
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A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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