Quote

not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Television
Animal
Unemployed
Wild
Animals
Series
Bears

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Do I have to use my own money?
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
Image
With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
Erma Bombeck
Image
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
Erma Bombeck
Image
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
Erma Bombeck
Image
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
Erma Bombeck
Image
My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck
Image
There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
Erma Bombeck