Quote

not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.

Erma Bombeck

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Animals
Series
Bears
Television
Animal
Unemployed
Wild

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

Image
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.
Erma Bombeck
Image
It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
Erma Bombeck
Image
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
Image
When it comes to cooking, five years ago I felt guilty just adding water. Now I want to bang the tube against the countertop and have a five-course meal pop out. If it comes with plastic silverware and a plate that self-destructs, all the better.
Erma Bombeck
Image
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
Erma Bombeck
Image
When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to ... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.
Erma Bombeck
Image
With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
Erma Bombeck
Image
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
Erma Bombeck
Image
Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.
Erma Bombeck
Image
With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.
Erma Bombeck
Image
My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.
Erma Bombeck
Image
I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
Erma Bombeck