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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Married
Agers
Show
Thirteenth
Withdrew
Shows
Bedrooms
Didn
Teen
Time
Adolescence
Bedroom
Birthday

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
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My mother phones daily to ask, Did you just try to reach me? When I reply no, she adds, So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive, . . . and hangs up.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Occasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
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Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
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Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Erma Bombeck
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?
Erma Bombeck
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Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
Erma Bombeck
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
Erma Bombeck
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
Erma Bombeck
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
Erma Bombeck
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.
Erma Bombeck
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
Erma Bombeck