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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Show
Thirteenth
Shows
Withdrew
Didn
Bedrooms
Time
Teen
Adolescence
Bedroom
Birthday
Married
Agers

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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
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One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.
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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
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Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.
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She's as funny as a toothache
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Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
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I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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Occasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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