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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Leave
Lecturing
Sense
Teenagers
Hostility
Adolescence
Teenager
Begin
Room
Rooms
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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With boys, you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
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It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.
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A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel.
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Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
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Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other.
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line.
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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
Erma Bombeck
I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.
Erma Bombeck
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
Erma Bombeck
