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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Sense
Teenagers
Hostility
Adolescence
Teenager
Begin
Room
Rooms
Leave
Lecturing

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Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
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When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys.
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I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
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Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
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There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.
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When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.
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There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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I used everything you gave me.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.
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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
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All of a sudden, I feel very old and very tired. Maybe when I get to California, the smog, brush fires, floods, and earthquakes will cheer me up.
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I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.
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. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute - look at it and really see it - live it - and never give it back.
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