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When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Sense
Teenagers
Hostility
Adolescence
Teenager
Begin
Room
Rooms
Leave
Lecturing

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Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.
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Friends are annuals that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a perennial that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
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I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
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What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
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Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
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I love my mother for all the times she said absolutely nothing.... Thinking back on it all, it must have been the most difficult part of mothering she ever had to do: knowing the outcome, yet feeling she had no right to keep me from charting my own path. I thank her for all her virtues, but mostly for never once having said, I told you so.
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I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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