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My mother phones daily to ask, Did you just try to reach me? When I reply no, she adds, So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive, . . . and hangs up.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Stills
Phones
Still
Daily
Trying
Busy
Reach
Alive
Hangs
Asks
Reply
Call
Adds
Mother
Add

More quotes by Erma Bombeck

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There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.
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not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.
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Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.
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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
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My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren't that crazy about either one of us.
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You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
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I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
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If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.
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Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.
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To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children.
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The fact that Americans drag around the world by the busloads to glimpse the past probably has something to do with the youth of our country. We revere anything older than George Burns.
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Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
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Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
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For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
Erma Bombeck
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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