Quote

To say, Well, I write when I really get into it is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at it a long time, get snowblindness if you have to, but write something.

Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
Age: 69 †
Born: 1927
Born: February 21
Died: 1996
Died: April 22
Column Author
Journalist
Writer
Bellbrook
Ohio
Erma Louise Bombeck
Something
Staring
Really
Bunch
Time
Paper
Write
Typewriter
Wells
Typewriters
Well
Bull
Writing
Bulls
Long
Stare

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Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn't show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
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Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.
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Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
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There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
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Written on her tombstone: I told you I was sick.
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
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What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
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I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
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The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, Could I get you your check? and we answered, How about the menu first?
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
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One meal a day is enough for a lion and would be for all of us if all we did all day was swat flies.
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
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